Still freakin’ cold! I’ve seen cold spells up here before, but never this early in the winter and for so long…
Still, I have my blessings, however small they may be. I still have running water, my truck started today, and the stove is heating the house to 62. A bit cold for indoor temps, but at least it’s above freezing. I put 30 gals. of fuel in the tank the other day, so I should be good for at least a week, longer if we could just get a break in the weather.
Still nothing on the job front. I must have over 20 apps out around town, so eventually someone’s gotta call. I just want (NEED) that call sooner, rather than later.
Speaking of the truck, I am finally going to get it winterized today. Won’t be 100% winterized, but at least I’ll be able to stop taking the auto-start to bed and setting the alarm for every three hours so I can start it.
I’m relearning that the best way to get my head out of its’ negative space is to go and help someone else that’s in a worse spot. To that end, I’ve found a few forums on grief, and it has brought me some comfort to read posts there of folks just starting their grief journey and know that I am much farther down that path. I can respond to their cries for help, give them comfort of some type, and hopefully help them at least a little bit on their journey. In the process of doing that, it makes me realize that I am ok, just continuing on my own twisted path to healing. Yeah, I’m lonely, sometimes desparately so, but at the same time I am not looking for anyone. I just don’t have to energy to deal with another relationship, not to mention the fact that it seems that everyone I’ve ever cared for has died. Really makes a person skittish to jump back into the relatioship pool with a record like that.
