November 30, 2008

Hard to believe that November is over.  Even harder to believe that 2008 is almost over.  I guess if I had to use just one word to sum it all up, I would say ‘chaotic.’  Sometimes bad chaotic, but mostly good chaotic, if that makes any sense.

The biz is finally taking off.  I picked up two new contracts this week, one of which is on the military base nearby.  I know that if I do a good job on her house, she’ll be talking to her friends, and I’ll be set.  It’s difficult to get cleaning on a military base, but once you’re in, you’re pretty much golden, as long as you clean well.  Today, I will get the business website done and up and running, then perhaps I can pick up a few more contracts that way.  I was talking to someone the other day, and he asked if I were going to hire employees, etc.  I really don’t want to, that means that I have to worry about whether or not they are cleaning to my standards.  At this point (and it may change), I only want enough contracts to pay the bills and put aside money for gettin’ outta here.

Thanksgiving was kinda peaceful, actually.  I just stayed home and hung out with the furry kids.  I am rather upset with some folks, though.  I actually picked up the phone and made an effort to connect with family, and out of five phone calls, only my daughter bothered to return my call that day.  That kinda hurt.

The big house is done; I spent the last two days finishing up with it.  Got everything out that I wanted to keep; the rest can go to the new owners after the auction.  I was really freaked out on Friday when I went out there.  I went into the house expecting it to be very cold (I haven’t bothered to heat it; can’t afford to heat two houses), and when I opened up the door, warm air hit my face.  I went into the house and discovered that someone somehow got into the house, probably jimmied the back door (looks that way), and put electric heaters all over the house!  Needless to say, I got very motivated to get the rest of my crap out.  I pulled the heaters out of the house and that was when I discovered that even though they were brand new heaters (the boxes were on the floor next to them), two of them had bare wiring!  Whoever put those in the house deliberately removed some of the wiring casing, obviously hoping to start a fire.  If a fire started and burned the house, then the mortgage company wouldn’t have to hassle with the auction, they could just get paid out by insurance.  People sure play rotten, don’t they?  So, I played just as rotten; I took all the heaters, cleaned out the rest of my crap, and when I was done and no longer needed to use the garage door, I shut off the electric at the main box.  Monday I will call the electric company and have them shut off the power.  I don’t need power anymore, was only keeping it on so I could use the garage door to get my bike out.  I think I also need to talk to the insurance company, tell them what happened and see if I can go ahead and cancel the insurance.

November 25, 2008

Finally, it warmed up a bit.  We made it to 14 above.  Woo-hoo.  I was watching the news last night, and my theory proved correct on the weather part; it has been about 10-15 degrees colder than normal this month.  I really didn’t think that we usually sat at -15 for days this time of year, and I was right.  Woo-somebody get me a donut…

Did a move-in clean for a guy yesterday, and he was so impressed with my hard-water stain removing talents, he hired me to keep coming back every week!  Yay!  I do ache today though; his clean included carpet shampoo, and with no tub to soak it away afterwards, I am very sore today.  Is ok, though; I imagine I’ll survive.

If J had still been alive, he would have turned 60 today.  I’ve been gearing up mentally for about a week now, so I’m really hoping that today doesn’t wreck me.  So far, so good.  Just gotta get through today and Thursday, then I’ll be ok I think.  I hope.

I think I’m pretty much set on leaving here next summer.  If I were to move into the camper full-time in May and live in that, I could sell the rest of everything, work up here for the summer (and enjoy one last summer here), then go about the middle of August.  My brother has givien me his blessing to land at his place, he has an RV site already built on his property.  Unless something major happens, I’m gonna go.  I feel as if I’ve over-extended my stay up here at this point, and it’s time to move on.  I’m alone, and this is a brutal place to be alone, especially in the winter.  The climate at my brother’s place is much milder; I could live in the camper year-round, which would suit me fine.  I’ve been doing research on full-time RV’ing, and that spells ‘gypsi’ all over it.  I’ve never really been one to fall for the ‘buy a house and settle down’ mentality (I did try with J, though), but to eventually buy a bus that’s been converted, oh yeah, that I could do.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Haven’t updated in awhile.  Don’t really know what to say; my life is pretty boring.  The cleaning business isn’t taking off like I had hoped.  I think people are more concerned about heating their houses this winter rather than cleaning their houses.  Fuel prices have dropped dramatically all over the country; except for here.  Even though we have a refinery in our back yard, we are still over a dollar more a gallon than the Lower 48.

I’ve been pretty down lately.  Seems like no matter what I try to do, it just ain’t good enough.  Then there’s the feeling of ‘why bother?’ that penetrates most aspects of my life.  I can’t seem to find motivation to do much of anything, and that does bother me.  I have nothing to work towards, no retirement with the one I love, or anything like that.  I just go through the motions, day after day.  No joy, very little happiness.

I think that if I could, I would simply pack up and move.  Alaska has been the best experience of my life, but anymore I am feeling so isolated.  My kids and grandkids are so far away; immediate family consists of a dog and two cats.  My phone never rings anymore.  The supposed ‘friends’ that I had a year ago are long gone.  Left about the same time the money did.  Interesting, but oh so predictable I guess.

The thought of facing yet another set of holidays alone is, daunting to say the least.  I barely made it through last years’ set.  I don’t know if I can do it this year.  Or if I even want to.